All I Want For Christmas
by becky-debbie
Summary: Starsky and Hutch give each other a lasting gift for Christmas.


**A/N: Very mild slash. **

**This is a Christmas story that we submitted to the Advent Calendar last year. We had so much fun writing it that we decided to put our stories that we've written together here. Watch for more!**

**All I Want For Christmas**

_By: Becky and Debbie_

Christmas Eve 1979

_**You're all I want for Christmas  
All I want my whole life through  
Each day is just like Christmas  
Anytime that I'm with you**_

Okay, Hutchinson take a good look around. The table is perfect. Candles are lit, champagne is chilling, and silverware is gleaming. Now on to the living room. The mistletoe is hanging over the doorway, Bing Crosby is playing on the stereo and a perfectly wrapped package is sitting under the tree.

Then why the hell are my palms sweating and why is my heart racing? It's not as if this is the first time I have ever told someone that I love them. It's not even the first time I have told someone that they are the only one for me, but it is the first that I truly mean it. I finally understand what true love is.

Admit it. I'm scared he doesn't feel the same way. Yet, how do I explain the touches, the looks, and the comfort of each others arms after a nightmare? True, some of that could be chalked up to the shit both of us have gone through this last year, but what about the years before? What about all those hugs, winks, and damn, we even finish each others sentences. Then there's the fact that after knowing Starsky for over seven years, I still get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about him. If that isn't love then I don't know what is.

Okay, deep breath, he's here. Now what? Maybe a hug and a kiss under the mistletoe? That always works in the movies.

* * *

_**You're all I want for Christmas  
And if all my dreams come true  
Then I'll awake on Christmas mornin'  
And find my stocking filled with you**_

I staggered back, caught off guard and speechless. My best friend just kissed me. Hutch kissed me. So I reacted without thinking. I hauled off and hit him.

Then I turned my back on someone who had just changed the rules. I ignored the sound of his groan. I blotted out the image of him falling to the floor in pain and agony. Without stopping or turning around, I bolted for the door and slammed it closed behind me. Somehow I found my way back to my car. I have no memory of driving or reaching my house or the three empty beer bottles that ended up in front of me.

I can't believe it. A man kissed me. But not just any man.

Hutch.

He's not some stranger. We weren't drunk which could've been the reason. But I never gave him a chance to explain either. But what could he have said to justify what he did?

How did we get here? What possessed another man who's as female oriented as I am to even consider what it was like to kiss his best friend?

We have no problem sharing the same bottle when we're drinking beer. We even take food off each other's plate. We're comfortable with each other to the point that we hug and touch each other, often without reason. But how long did Hutch think about this? He's always analyzing everything. That's one of the reasons he's a damn good detective. But what led him to conclude that we should be lovers?

My head hurts. Not because of the beers I've chugged since I got home but because I realize that I liked his kiss. I even responded to his kiss. It turned me on. My body knew it before my brain. I hit him 'cause of a gut reaction, not because I hated it. In fact, I have to admit, I want more.

I want Hutch more than just as a friend, now as a lover. I want to complete what's only been thought about. I see that now. It's just the natural thing for us.

I've been sitting here hoping that a few beers could change what happened. But it's not taking away the need I have for Hutch.

* * *

_**(You're all I want for Christmas)  
(All I want my whole life through)  
Each day is just like Christmas  
Anytime that I with you**_

I screwed up. Now I have lost the three most important people in my life: my friend, my partner and my love.

What the hell was I thinking? Did I really believe that magically we would be transformed into lovers? Yes, yes I did. And you know what? For a second we were. I felt Starsky's reaction and damn, he was even kissing back. So what happened?

He gave you a busted jaw dummy. That's what happened. You kissed him, he reacted and ran away. Not quite the romantic ending you had hoped for.

Dammit. Some friend I am. I didn't even stop to consider his feelings. No I just rushed right in. Only cared about me and what I wanted. This is a decision we should have made together.

But, this is Starsky I'm talking about. We read each others minds. Anticipate each others moves. We are in sync. More so than most married couples. He had to have known what I felt. Probably knew before I did.

If all that's true, then I go back to the question, what just happened? Perhaps a better question would be why am I sitting here instead of driving off into the sunset after him? Because, you stupid romantic idiot, you hope that he's on his way back to you.

* * *

_**You're all I want for Christmas)  
(And if all my dreams come true)  
Then I'll awake on Christmas mornin'  
And find my stocking filled with you  
(And find my stocking filled with you)**_

I'm driving around on Christmas Eve when I should be with Hutch. Why should this holiday be any different? We've always spent them together, either 'cause we were working or we just preferred each other's company.

I'm stopped at a light and a man and a woman in the car next to me exchange a quick, passionate kiss, heedless of their surroundings. Everyone has someone. Everyone is happy, except me. What would make me happy? Or rather, who would make me happy?

Hutch and me have each other. We've always had that. But this time, Hutch offered himself completely to me. My gut reaction was to reject the passion that we both felt but as always, I reacted without thinking. I can be such an idiot sometimes.

Usually driving helps me clear my mind. It's important to me to always control my surroundings. That's part of my job. It also helps me understand what I am. Up until a few hours ago, I understood that Hutch and me were friends but now love has control of us, of me. Is that so bad?

Where am I goin'? I don't run away from things. I hit them straight on. Well, I guess that's what I did, I hit Hutch. I ran from a man that I've always trusted and loved but now I see that love can be so much better, so complete.

Damn. Here I've been drivin' without any destination in mind but I still find myself right back where I started. My heart and soul led me straight to the love that I so desperately want and need.

I'm staring up at the window to his apartment. The lights are on. I can tell that he's got a tree decorated with those little sparkly lights. In fact, that's the only light coming from his place. I remember now how nicely decorated it was. I remember thinkin' when I first got there that I must've interrupted some romantic celebration Hutch had planned. If I woulda waited long enough, I'd have known it was all for me. It was for us.

Ok, now what? I can't sit here all night. But hell, if I don't go up there now, I'll lose not only my nerve, but the best thing that could ever happen to me.

Okay, deep breath Davey! I'm standin' outside his door. Do I knock or just walk in? No, I'll just walk right in like I do any other time. But I can't make my hand turn the knob. What if by hitting him before, I screwed up our future? I don't think I can go back to just being buddies, friends. Not now that I know I truly love him and want him in every way possible. Shit, his over thinking attitude is rubbin' off on me. Don't think about it, just do it!

Before I can turn the knob, the door opens and I'm standing face to face with my destiny. Hutch looks like he's surprised to see me but neither one of us says anything. I cross into the room and like a magnet, I'm pulled into his arms. The kiss is surprising and strong. My hands claim his face and as we kiss, I hear my heart pounding in my ears. But then, I guess we both needed to breathe at the same time 'cause we separate but only slightly. Hutch stares at me and pulls me back into an embrace. I feel Hutch's breath on my face and his mustache skims across my neck.

My nerves are bare and I feel the tingle of his breath down to my toes. My brain is on overload. The air crackles with a charged current between us. His skin is smooth but I feel my stubble scrape his cheek. His teeth nibble at my ear and in a whisper meant only for me he asks me an impossible question:

"What took you so long?"


End file.
